Tag Archives: love

When Words Aren’t Enough- A Remembrance

When Words Aren’t Enough- A Remembrance

There are times when words aren’t enough. Words on paper, online, whatever canvas we choose ultimately tend have small impacts in the great scheme of things. There are exceptions to this of course; Martin Luther’s 95 theses, great novels or scripts that ignite people. “Hamilton” is a recent example of this. The thing these written works have in common that have such a large impact on people is this; ‘they do.’ What I mean by this is those words ‘do something’ whether spoken, read, sung, acted etc they challenge people to do something. It could be an exercise in the physical sense or mental, but they still makes people ‘do.’

You may be asking yourself what these thoughts have to do with September 11. I’m getting there, I promise. There have been great travesties and horrors in American history and all throughout the history of this World. Most of us reading this will say September 11, 2001 was the biggest tragedy in our lifetime. Much like the assassination of JFK or Pearl Harbor in the generations before us, we know exactly where we were when the news started to reach us. Sophomore year of high school, Ms. Boggs English class; Mrs. Irwin came in from her room to tell us about the first plane. We turned on the news right after the second tower was hit. I can recall as if yesterday nearly every moment of that day. A cowardly attack on innocent people, shame on us if we ever forget an event that will define many lives thereafter.

Looking back 17 year ago, literally a generation ago. A generation before threat color levels, the worries of random acts of terrorism. What sticks out to me is something words I don’t believe could ever really fully capture. Simply put, people found it in themselves to just do. There are countless stories from that day of people just doing. Rick Rescorla who survived the Ia Drang valley with Col. Hal Moore in Vietnam, Welles Crowther- ‘The Man in the Red Bandana’; Jeremy Glick, Tom Burnett, Mark Bingham and Todd Beamer who were the first to take the fight back to the perpetrators of evil that day aboard Flight 93 igniting with simple words, “Let’s Roll.” Many others 8 private EMS providers, 27 Port Authority Officers of New York and New Jersey, 23 NYPD officers and the 343 firefighters of the FDNY all perished so others may live. The total loss of life that day totaled nearly 3,000. Including the illnesses related from the toxins at ground zero the numbers are even greater.

Yet our enduring memories of this day are of these ordinary people who lived this day larger than life and became immortal heroes who we should and I hope never forget. The losses could have been greater that terrible day, but these titans of men and women gave the ultimate sacrifice to save as many that day as possible. Words really can’t describe the thanks these brave souls deserve; ordinary citizens working alongside emergency personnel running into towering infernos to save complete strangers.  Their actions rose above words! They acted, they did. We remember them today and hopefully every day.

In the days, weeks, months and years that followed we sent our best to avenge these actions. United our country rallied behind the memories of our fallen and an unspeakable attack on our way of life. While at Ground Zero President George W. Bush spoke simple but poignant words after hearing chants of U.S.A. President Bush responded, “I can hear you! I can hear you! The rest of the world hears you! And the people who knocked these buildings down will hear all of us soon!” We responded with absolute resolve and came together as one.

Seventeen years later here we are a country that I must say sadly does not resemble the weeks and months of unity after September 11, 2001. We are as divided as recent memory recalls and we should look inward to see how we can heal. If your first thoughts are to unconditionally accept your way of thinking, stop. Rarely ever will two people ever fully agree on anything. What we can do, must do as nation is learn to compromise. No one side has all the right answers; it takes hard work dedication, compromise, and teamwork to make this great experiment we call America work. We have to come together again and work together to continue this great Nation in its continuing move forward.

Let’s remember to put aside our differences and find the common ground to continue our cause together as one. Looking back seventeen years later, I still don’t have to words to describe the bravery and heroism displayed by countless individuals on September 11, 2001. The lasting memories to me are not of sadness and destroyed buildings, but of triumph and valor in the face of danger. Remember these heroes from all walks of life who didn’t ask those they went to save of their opinions or ideologies they just went, and they did. Their actions that day spoke louder than any words.

September 11, 2001 a day to remember, a day when good triumphed over evil. To those we lost in New York City, Washington D.C. and a quiet field outside of Shanksville, Pennsylvania we remember you today and forever.


With Love

Coty Myers


Attached is the short ESPN documentary of Welles Crowther, ‘The Man in the Red Bandana.’


Rick Rescorla

Welles Crowther


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The Romance of the Evening, the Pen and the Open Road

The Romance of the Evening, the Pen and the Open Road

I’m trying to keep my end of the contract I made with you all. You all are doing a great job, keep sharing away!

What is this going to be about tonight? My romance with the evening, the open road and the pen, or in this case the laptop. I’m still in favor of putting pen to paper don’t get me wrong, but sometimes it’s just as easy to go ahead and type it out. Especially when I was working on my first book again! I finally picked back up ‘Confessions of a Dying Twenty-Something’ and I’m glad I did. There were several edits I missed on the first proofread. Looking at the word count I have a long way to go, but I’m looking at it as how much I’ve written so far. Keep pressuring me to write!

There’s just something about the evening that makes me want start writing. Do any of you have anything that triggers or makes you want do something? A particular time of day that makes you want to run or anything like that? I think it’s the quiet that probably helps the most for me with writing, which in hindsight is probably obvious. Beyond that though the complete stillness of the late evenings is just soothing at times; I miss the late evenings so this is a nice change of pace to be working late for the next few months.

In addition to the night just driving on the open roads here in Kansas has been awe inspiring for me. Maybe I’m just not use to the nearly completely straight and flat roads, but I just look out and lose myself a little. On a side note, I have to pay a little more attention to the speedometer, because the different terrain has me unaccustomed to judging my speed. It could be as simple as experiencing living in a new location for the first time in over a decade. I am enjoying the scenery including the seemingly endless miles of corn and soy fields. Reminds me to truly enjoy where I live when I get back home as well, I think we all take for granted what we have around us all the time. I am finding myself not only missing the people at home, but being back in the place I know as home.

This leads me back to my original point, these events transpiring have me inspired to write again. I think I will always have the running playback commentary running through my mind. There is a chance I suppose it may end at some point, but I rather enjoy it most of the time. Here’s the thing though, we can’t continually live in our past experiences. We have to get out and embrace life while we still can and take in as much beauty, fun, sadness and everything life has to offer. We can always stop at the end of day and reflect back on what we’ve done. Staying stuck in the past is sure fire way to do one thing and one thing only, to stay in the past.

Does that mean we can’t have the occasional remembrance of the past? Of course not. There are times whether they are a few minutes, hours or even day when reliving the past is fun and needed. Your high school reunions, getting together with friends you haven’t seen in years all great times to reflect back when. I also recently ate an old school diner that was a throwback and it took me back to a time I never personally experienced. Don’t be afraid to get lost in your own thoughts from time to time.

What triggers these times when you get lost in your own mind? What makes you think about special memories you could never forget? A song sticks out to me, ‘Strawberry Wine’ by Deana Carter. The premise of the song is remembering her first love when she returns to her grandpa’s farm where they met. Even though the farm no longer operates she comes back and can still taste the strawberry wine from her first love when she was 17. Is there anything that triggers memories from you like they were just yesterday? It could be your hometown you don’t see much anymore, maybe the same style of car you had when you were 16 or hearing that name from your past. We all have triggers that make us remember. Don’t fear the memories, embrace them and smile on the times that were and remember to wake up and keep living your life. You don’t want to be the person who is stuck living in their memories.

So here’s to the romance of the evening, the romance of the pen and to the romance of the open road. When I finish my time up here in Kansas, I’m hoping to hit the open road before I return home to Kentucky. I’ll keep you all informed how it goes and I’ll keep you posted on my adventures here in Kansas. Between work and the heat most of my adventures have revolved around the pool at my hotel. Hopefully it cools a little and I get out to see some exciting new sites! I will also keep you updated on the book, I am thinking of a style change and may release some excerpts here very soon.

As always feel free to comment, like, share with others. I appreciate all of you and your encouragement, until next time.


With Love



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Just Write…Just Live

Just Write…Just Live

Just write. That is the motto of most authors or instructors of writing. It doesn’t matter if it’s good, just write. You can always edit the work you’ve done, but you can’t edit what you didn’t write, so just write. You see the point I’m getting to here? Is it by chance, to just write? You’d be right. I can’t argue this point, because the people who say this are correct. That doesn’t always translate to the individual, especially me. I suppose that’s what makes the difference between the writers and the wannabes. I’m going to try and follow my own advice, or I suppose the advice of the professionals and just write. Before I do though, I’m going to dispense some advice for us all and I’m going to need your help and support.

What if we took this advice about writing and applied it to life. Instead of saying ‘just write’ replace it with ‘just live.’ We need not to worry about keeping up with Jones’ or worry about how we compare to others. Stop comparing your life to others and you’ll be much happier. The only person who your life needs validation from is you, so live your life. It doesn’t matter what that girl from high school who used to make fun of your clothes thinks. It doesn’t matter that your high school crush got married at 22 and you’re still single at 35. The only person you need to satisfy is you.

That does not mean not to care about people in general, because that’s what makes life so special. Sharing life’s moments with others is what life is about. If we don’t care about how we impact others we will probably have a pretty boring existence. One of the best examples of this comes from Christopher McCandless. You may know him as Alexander Supertramp or are familiar with his story from the book turned movie, ‘Into the Wild.’ A quick summary before making the point; Christopher McCandless graduates college and is unhappy with his parents and his life in general. He packs up leaves, running away and leaving his life behind. He travels west, has plenty of crazy and amazing experiences. His ultimate goal is to reach Alaska and live in the wild alone. He achieves this goal, finds the magic school bus, but a series of unfortunate events leaves him stranded and deathly ill. He succumbs to the illness and passes away. When his body is discovered his journal is found as well. One of the last things he wrote, if not the very final, “Happiness only real when shared.”

Pause and think about this for just a few moments. A young man who ran away from society to find his inner peace and true happiness realizes, “happiness only real when shared,” as he is dying. Profound irony and wisdom, if albeit extremely sad. If you’ve never read the book or seen the movie, do it. It is a true story; both sad and beautiful at the same time.

Some people say getting through life is enough. If that makes you happy, by all means do that. If you realize merely existing isn’t enough, go live. ‘Just live’ the life you’ve always wanted. Like writing you can in fact edit in life too. You may not be able to change the past, but you can start today, you can start right now to have a different future. Try new food, visit new places, see old friends, make new ones and give love without reservation all along the way. Enjoy your life; find peace and happiness and share it with others.

My ultimate point is this, just live. Quit making excuses, quit just existing and live. Find something that makes you happy and go after it. Don’t forget to share those experiences with others along the way. It doesn’t have to always be the same people, but share these moments with someone as you go through this life. After all, does it really happen if you can’t remember it with someone? The great irony for me here is that I’m on my own solo adventure for about 3 more months. You know what I’m doing though? I am including others as much as I can and the people close to me back home, I am trying to share as much as I can with them. I’ll share my adventures with you too, I’m about to start writing about them.

To close I am going to make a promise or you could call it a contract with you all. There is two parts to this contract, mine and yours.
Part 1, mine. I Coty will promise to just write.  I will pick up my drafts of books, screenplays etc I have started and will write in earnest. I also promise to release more content for my readers here and more often. Signed, ME

Part 2, yours. I (insert your name) promise to support Coty and CotyWrites by sharing his content with others; I also pledge to give Coty feedback, suggestions for new topics and will remind him he promised to write for us. Please, sign for me.

I hope you all enjoy and while I’m doing what I love, just writing, I hope you’ll find something you love. Just Live!

Much Love


Christopher McCandless in front of the ‘Magic School Bus’

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Superlatives: Most Likely to Get Lost

Superlatives: Most Likely To Get Lost

Superlatives, a time honored tradition throughout middle and high schools everywhere. Let’s first take a moment to say many times these mean nothing and are nothing more than an exercise in vanity or the beginning workings of anxieties/ nervosas for many. Still they are a fun way for many to be able to compliment their fellow students with titles they will wear proudly. Many times these ‘awards’ are the furthest things from reality and other times if you pick up an old yearbook and look at them you’ll notice they nail it, even 10, 15, 20 plus years later. Just gander at a few of the most common ones; let’s starts with ‘most likely to succeed.’ Can that really be measured? Everyone measures success differently as we get older and possibly wiser. High school romances come and go, but maybe ‘best couple’ stays in it for the long haul and still look at each other with that same star crossed lover look they’ve had since sophomore year 2002. Best dressed, class clown, best eyes, most talkative, and biggest flirt these lists can go on at times. Let’s talk about my personal experience with superlatives from my senior year, when I was a proud member of the class of 2004 at South Laurel.

The Sr casual picture of yours truly, the proud member of the class of ’04

As voting began for superlatives that year I won’t lie and say I didn’t care, I’ve always wanted to be remembered and to be recognized by my friends and peers. When the results were announced I did in fact get voted for a superlative, awesome! ‘Most Likely to Get Lost’ was what my fellow students had bestowed upon me. I was a little irritated when I found out. I rarely got lost, people usually called me for directions or to help them find their way when they were lost. I outwardly took it in stride and made the best of it. At least people voted me in for something. It may have been a joke or just the least consequential category my friends cared to vote me in.

I took the picture for the yearbook with the female winner, Brittany Hacker and it was a nice light hearted photo. (I’ll put it at the bottom for you all.) Still the following year when the yearbooks were delivered and I saw it, I was perplexed again. I let this little insignificant matter bother me for a couple of years, into my early twenties, I hate to admit. Looking back I know it was completely ridiculous to have let it bother me for so long, let alone at all. High school superlatives play no role in our futures and I doubt anyone thinks a second thought about them more than a year or two after graduation.

As you all may know my mind doesn’t always rest and let things lie dormant. It could be for my continual search of nostalgia and I do take great pleasure in looking back and reflecting. I had picked up my senior yearbook and thumbed through the pages. I saw the people, the friends, smiles and the memories seared into my thoughts. I just think it’s good to see them from time to time and reminisce. Then I landed on the page with my ‘Most Likely to Get Lost’ picture. I laughed at myself for a minute remembering how I had let something so small bother me in the past.

Then I started looking around and thinking about what I’ve accomplished and where I’m going in life. Then I laughed some more and thought about the irony. I finally graduated college after years of slacking off and having to move back in with my parents. I looked up and realized I was 32 (nearly 32 when I first started writing this piece, closer to 33 now, more on that later) and haven’t really achieved most things I thought I would. On the other hand what did I really think I would have accomplished at 32? A wife and kids? Maybe. Some illustrious career? In what field? Probably not living with my parents. Yet here I am. Now stay with me, because the irony is just getting good.

Maybe all those years ago those fellow students of mine saw something I didn’t see at the time. Maybe the vote wasn’t as simple about people getting lost in travels and making the wrong turns on drives. It could have been just a silly nod to give me a superlative, but I think in a funny way a lot of people saw even then I was a lost wayward soul floating around. The reality is I still am. Like I mentioned a minute ago, I originally started this piece probably 9 to 10 months ago. I am just now finishing it. Since I started it, I am now temporarily living in Kansas out of a hotel, plenty far away from my Old Kentucky Home and when I return in November, I’ll still be living with my parents. Not a lot has changed for me, and you know what? That’s ok.

There is a quote, “not all who wander are lost” by J.R.R Tolkien. There is a lot of truth to that. Heck, I could be lost, but I have embraced the ride I’m on and I’m hoping I learn to enjoy it more. Another quote from Mary Schmich, made famous by Baz Lurhman from the speech ‘Sunscreen’ “Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.” Hopefully I have a little more figured out by the time I’m 40, but if not, I’ll be ok.

My life, like so many others, hasn’t been a straight line from start to finish. Sometimes I’ve zigged and zagged. Other times I’ve had to back up after spending time moving forward, but hey that’s life right? What I’ve learned is that it’s ok to not know what’s next and it’s even better to get a little lost along the way. The other half of that superlative is now Brittany Jones, kindergarten teacher, married with a beautiful son. Like I said sometimes those superlatives are totally wrong and other times they are spot on. Here is to all of us who are wandering and wondering through life. Getting lost isn’t all that bad after all.


With Love



The Superlative picture from my sr yearbook

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Defining Winning and Losing

Defining Winning and Losing


Traditional wisdom tells us that winning and losing are pretty clearly defined. You have a winner who wins and then you have a loser who does not win. Seems simple enough, and traditionally I would agree. Except in life there are rarely moments where there is clearly defined absolutes. The world is full of areas grey and even myself, who believes in many absolutes, sees that the shades of grey in life leave much to be wanted and learned from. With that in mind I am going to discuss something that most of us do not like to think about or much less discuss. Well two things really, death and cancer. If you are uncomfortable with either, I ask that you stick with me and allow me to share my outlook on these terrible situations.

The reality we face in life when decreeing something as an absolute win or loss is it doesn’t leave room for anything else. And many times in life defining winning and losing is very subjective. Life isn’t a sporting event, and heck even in sports that becomes an area of grey too. If a team is projected to be one of the worst teams in their respective sports and exceeds expectations tenfold that season is considered a success even if they fall short of winning a championship. In sports and life, it is all a matter of perception. You’ll see the reason for the sports metaphor a little later.

Perception is what brings me to my cause for this piece tonight. I have been thinking and working my thoughts on this for over a month, and prior to that the general concept has been in my head for a couple of months now. When addressing the death of someone who has passed away due to cancer we have a tendency to say, “Jane Doe after a long battle with cancer lost their fight this morning.” I have used this phrase myself. I began to change my thoughts on this after watching my friend Kelly fight for years and ultimately succumbing to cancer. Then somewhat recently my mom’s first cousin Arlene also passed away from cancer after a long hard fight. We all know people personally who have fought and lived their lives in the face of this dreaded disease. So we remember them by saying they lost? Of course not we remember them for how they lived and how they fought bravely, no matter how long or how short that battle was.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand people are using this turn of phrase as a polite way to acknowledge someone’s fight and untimely passing, I get that. I also understand people do not truly think people who die from such diseases are losers. However, that is technically what they are saying, unintentionally and with kindness I admit. Nothing about the struggles the brave souls we all have known says anything remotely close to losing. Their fights are usually nothing less than inspiring and awe inducing. I don’t know how these people handle all the hardships they face, it is truly super human feats to endure it all.

My point is, these people, our loved ones, are not anything close to losers and they do not lose to cancer. Let me repeat THEY DO NOT LOSE TO CANCER. They may no longer be with us here on this Earth, but I believe they continue their fight from their heavenly homes or through those they touched here while they were still with us. How these heroes respond to unspeakable pain and suffering should be the measure enough of their wins. I have never once seen those diagnosed with a terrible prognosis not rise to face the challenges waiting in front of them. I’ve seen people told they have mere months to live fight for four to five years and beyond. They literally fight and increase their lifespan tenfold. No I can’t say these people lose, not by a mile.

My feelings can probably be best described by someone else’s words. On July 16, 2014 Stuart Scott accepted the Jimmy V Perseverance Award at that year’s ESPY’s. Although, I never personally met or knew Stuart Scott or anyone from ESPN, I have felt such a connection to his words, especially after he passed on January 4, 2015, less than six months after his famous speech. You see January 4, is a special day to me it is the birthday of my friend Kelly who won her battle against cancer and departed this Earth on March 2, 2013. These words are just a portion of what Mr. Scott said that night, and if you have 10 or so minutes go to YouTube and watch the full speech.
“….When you die it does not mean you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and in the manner in which you live. So live…live, fight like hell, and when you get too tired to fight then lay down and rest and let somebody else fight for you.”
As I mentioned a moment ago he departed this life less than 6 months later, so in hindsight his words seem prophetic. Maybe he sensed his last days were drawing closer, but his words stood tall and powerful and will live an eternity at least to me as a rallying cry for all those touched by cancer.

The first person I ever realized was fighting against cancer was a kid named Marcus Parsley who in elementary school was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Even at the time, I didn’t truly understand the aspects of what he was enduring, but it is my first real memory of a battle against cancer, and has stuck with me since. I believe it was fourth grade and his prognosis was not good, that young man fought for over three years before winning his battle and leaving us behind on Earth. My friend Kelly who I’ve mentioned a few times in this piece, and if you have read some of my previous works you know all about, battled for many years so beautifully and with such courage. My aunt Arlene who passed just a few months ago after many years of battling and fighting, saw her children and grandchildren grow; these people just to name a few lived those words spoken by Stuart Scott and exemplified what it meant to fight and live with cancer. These people are WINNERS in every facet of the word.

I’m sure for those of you who read this, you know someone near and dear to you or even distant that has battled cancer and touched you in some way. These brave people we all know in our everyday lives are nothing less than true heroes. Their battles and struggles inspire us all and we should remember them for how they lived and fought. Next time someone you know passes away to cancer or any other disease or injury, that is outside of their control, I hope you join me not in suffering of their loss, but celebrating their victory! No more pain and peace is what they have now. This is for you Stuart, Marcus, Kelly and Arlene and all of the million others; you can lay down and rest now, we’ll continue your fight from here. Thank you for your love and touching all of us, you’re the inspiration we should all aspire to me.

Below is Stuart Scott’s ESPY speech.


With Love


M. Coty Myers



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The Hypocrisy of Dating


The Hypocrisy of Dating


Welcome to….


A few disclaimers to start; I am a guy so many of opinions may not be agreed by ladies; again these are my opinions; I have come to these conclusions through countless personal experiences; and finally just have an open mind and assess yourself and situations you may be familiar with.

Folks let me try and talk about dating in the 2000-teens as an early thirty-something in rural America. It’s not a great scene. We all have preferences and some say if you compromise on those, you’re settling. I don’t believe in this logic. I think preferences are great to try and narrow your search, but ultimately I am about connections. Maybe someone is almost the exact opposite of your preferences but you just have that undeniable connection, pursue it I say. Now let’s get the point of which there are a few.

The first, I just summarized above, preferences. Don’t be a slave to your preferences. There are so many great people out there and although our preferences are usually there for reasons, check yourself to make sure they are the right reasons. If you are waiting on for a 6’5 blue eyed, chiseled cowboy to randomly appear in front of you, I have bad news ladies, be ready to bend a little. That’s not to say you should date someone you find repulsive, but looks usually fade with time, and probably shouldn’t be your primary concern. There is a whole lot that can be said on this subject but let’s leave it at this. Allow your preferences to help you find someone, but don’t allow your preferences to control who you choose.

Next is just simple, honesty. Just be honest, and honestly I think too many of us have a hard time with this one. Ladies I can you hear all now talking about all the lying guys out there etc. In my opinion I find guys to be pretty honest by and large, and you just choose to think you can change them. I have found women to be such a larger guilty party of dishonesty. I have two trains of thought on this. One the women are just trying to be nice, and let a guy down easy. This is all great and fine but I have read countless articles and opinions talking about how women have to break everything down for their male mates. If after years together women still have to be blunt about wanting their significant other taking out the trash, don’t you think you should be as honest and blunt about not being interested? The choruses sing but I told him I didn’t want to date, he was just a better friend, etc. Yet he’s your first call, last call, and everything in between. You told him how he would make such a good boyfriend and how much you cared about him, all the while knowing exactly he thought you were playing hard to get. You allow yourself to use him as a boyfriend substitute with no intention of ever letting him have a chance. This is where we get into the hypocrisy of dating. Both sexes are guilty, but I have to question females.

Females lament about lack of quality, honest, emotionally in touch men out there and yet when they find one they are ready to overlook them in an instant. ‘No one wants a guy who gets upset about me, I may as well be dating another girl.’ Then in the next breath, ‘Why are men such jerks and only interested in being physical?’ You can’t have it both ways. It goes for both, but in my experiences women are much worse in this area. That’s not to say all, but most ladies are more concerned with the physical, as much as they would have us believe men are the more shallow. The hardest people on women’s looks? Other women. I’ve talked to countless girls and many of my lady friends ask me what am I thinking, I can do so much better based purely on looks. That’s not me trying to toot my own horn here, but I can find beauty in all forms of women, and if I connect with someone it intensifies my attraction to them. I know too many women who like to talk a big game and say they don’t care about looks, but won’t settle for less than what I described in the 6’5 cowboy earlier. Again folks hypocrisy at its finest.

Next let us take a look at attraction. I put this in a totally different category than preferences. If you can’t explain why or why not you’re attracted to someone, I believe you aren’t ready for a real relationship. That’s not to say you can pinpoint exactly every reason someone makes you feel the way you do about them, but there has to be something tangible there or you’re just living in a fairy tale. Maybe it’s the fact their smile sends shivers down your spine, or they know just when to give a grasp of your hand. It could be that they show undeniable loyalty or the way they pronounce certain words. There has to be something that makes you say I could live without that, but I really wouldn’t want to. It could be none of the above, maybe it’s their wit or intelligence or the way they handle a wrench under the hood of a car but something has to be there though. So when I hear people say, “IT” just isn’t there or there is no “SPARK” I’m sorry I just don’t understand. Again I’m not saying you don’t know how you feel, I’m just saying if you can’t explain why you are  attracted to the 6’5 cowboy and not the 5’9 gentleman, let me help you. It is usually abs, muscles, or something of the like, essentially you are shallow whether you’d like to admit or not.

I like to keep my posts to around a 1000 words, but let’s give you all a little bonus. The whole point of this was to point out the hypocrisy of women in modern dating, so let’s talk about that for a minute. There is a huge push for women empowerment, body acceptance, etc today. I think all of that is great. However, I feel we have accepted the erroneous conclusion that men don’t have emotions. I think women day by day are in large numbers becoming completely blinded to their toll on men. We get strung along and often are just told to quit whining or we’re just friends, without any real explanations. The shallowness I’ve seen exhibited by women has truly blown my mind over the last 5-8 years. “I won’t date a guy shorter than 6 foot tall,” “If he doesn’t drive a truck he needs to keep moving, “He thinks he is too good for people, because he doesn’t sound like us.” Ladies no one is perfect, if you’re waiting on perfect you’ll wait a lifetime. You need a reality check, these guys who are never in a relationship and have reputations as ‘players’, probably aren’t changing for you.

Evaluate the decisions you are making guy or girl, and make sure above all you’re being honest. If you’re honest you don’t have to worry about being a hypocrite. I can promise you this though, the moment you forget that, you’ll find yourself becoming everything you claim to be against.


With Love


M. Coty Myers


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My Country Tis of Thee


“My Country, Tis of Thee”

Fair warning the following entry is rather lengthy and is dedicated to politics in America. This is my first overtly political piece, which if you know me is nothing short of a miracle. I am very involved in wanting to better my country, city, region, and people. I also have many opinions when it comes to political ideologies, etc. Now with that said if you continue to read at some point you will probably whole heartedly disagree or be offended with some of my thoughts and opinions. And you know what? That is ok. Differing opinions are a great thing and are what makes our country work. No one person has all the answers therefore one political party definitely does not have all the answers. But I beg of you to please read this entry if you have any thoughts or opinions of political matters or issues facing our United States. Without further ado, “My Country, Tis of Thee.”

“My country, tis of thee,
Sweet land of liberty; of thee I sing;
Land where my fathers died,
Land of pilgrims’ pride,
From every mountainside let freedom ring!”

My fellow Americans, let’s have a talk. Actually let me rephrase we need to have a talk. Read that opening verse of “My Country, Tis of Thee” also commonly referred to as just “America.” Really read them. Are we proud right now? Are we letting freedom ring? I hope we’ll answer those questions and more tonight. Democrats, I get it you’re mad. You’re mad that the American electorate elected a man you cannot stand and think will destroy our country; I get it, I truly do. We will talk more about that later. Republicans, you are also mad. You are mad because protests occurred only 1 day after President Trump took office. You’re mad that people aren’t giving him a chance, ‘saying things like he’s not my president’, and debating how big of a crowd really showed up at his inauguration. Again, I understand your frustrations, I honestly do, and we will get there.

First though I want to talk to everyone; Republican, Democrat, Independent, Libertarian, Jew, Gentile, Muslim, Hindu, Atheist, Agnostic, anyone who calls this country home. Let’s all take a step back, breathe deep, and remain calm. We are letting our emotions override our brains and manners. We need to start using facts, rather than raw emotion. That’s not to say there isn’t a place for opinions or any emotion, but we need to learn how to measure those. We have to articulate those points without mockery, ridicule, and blame. That form of dialogue will not help us, our cause, or anything else. Notice I used the words we and our. I am as guilty as anyone else. What I haven’t done personally though is spread complete falsehoods or ‘alternative facts.’ I may share opinion but I will not blatantly spread fabrications and lies, just because they support my opinion. That is where I and many who may read this differ. It isn’t just one party or group of people, all groups are guilty. I am not going to point fingers and blame at any private citizen individuals or claim one group is worse than the other. I will however point out examples and those in the media or in positions of powers. Some of this will only be my opinion, and most people’s favorite comeback is, “opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one.” It is their favorite when their opinion and yours don’t agree. As I said at the beginning I like differing opinions, and hearing the other side out. I cannot and should not tolerate complete lies though. If you intentionally spread complete falsehoods it is no longer a matter of opinion, it is you being part of the problem. Let’s move forward now. Full disclosure I am mainly going to focus on the main 2 American political parties.

Democrats let’s start with you. I am a registered Democrat, and I hate to say it, but the party often makes me ashamed to be aligned with it. You all are wondering why you just got beat on the national stage. There are many reasons. One is your elitist attitude. I am sometimes guilty of this too, but I am truly appalled at the way you often treat conservatives and Republicans. Do not chastise someone who simply disagrees with your opinion. Do not look down on a people who simply want to work an honest day’s work for a decent wage to raise a family. I know many of you will say you don’t, and maybe you don’t but I have seen too many that have. There is nothing wrong with having a simple life. I agree education and being informed are great and silver bullets to many issues. That does not always require going to a university though. I have also too many times seen those Liberals/ Democrats who claim to be so tolerant completely ridicule someone else for having a different view or belief. Come on folks as long as they politely disagree, agree to disagree. Better yet, try to work to find some compromise. We cannot discount an entire people, and that’s what Democrats are doing. I would say the vast majority of Republicans are not racist, xenophobic, etc, but yet you have to throw it in their face that you think they are. And I get it, their candidate said many awful things, but everyone makes a decision for a variety of reasons. Take them on their issues, and work to find middle ground. That isn’t to say everyone is open to hearing opposing arguments, because we all know that isn’t the case, don’t waste your time on those folks.

It doesn’t stop there, while I agree the government should be there to help the people, we cannot have a people to be completely dependent on that same government. I agree that Healthcare should be attainable for all people, not just those who can afford it. I will hit with that later. I also am a huge supporter of the Affordable Care Act. To act like it is perfect or doesn’t need some changes is foolish. I actually work intimately with ACA, and though I claim to be no major expert on it, I have seen firsthand just how great it can help, but also where there are some unforgiveable gaps. Former President Obama even said if the Republicans came up with a truly better option he would support a full repeal and implementation of the new law. Now with that said I also agree with President Obama, that I find that to be highly unlikely.

The reason I am a Democrat is because I believe in freedom to live our lives how we see fit without the government telling me what to in my personal life, and also there are times where the government should step into save and help its citizens. I am not a Democrat to force my views on others if they disagree, or to totally disrespect the Office of the President. I did not agree with many policies George W. Bush put forth, but I respected the Office, and I respected him as a man. I truly feel anything he did he truly believed it was for the betterment of the American people. Needless to say I was also a big supporter of Barack Hussein Obama. That does not mean I agreed with every word or policy he had either. I was disgusted at the birther movement, and the complete disregard many in the “media” had to completely lie about his past. You cannot convince me he is not an American or that he is Muslim. Not that it would matter if he were Muslim, we do not have to take a religious litmus test to hold office, even the highest office in our country. The first amendment covers that with ‘Freedom of Religion’ which I also take to mean freedom from religion.

I say all this Democrats to get to my point. Donald Trump is YOUR 45th President. Whether you like it or not, he is in fact your president. Now I am not telling you to support his policies, but you have to respect the office or you are not better than the Republicans we railed against these past 8 years. When POTUS Trump tries to enact something you disagree with use your ‘Freedom of Speech’ to disagree. Disagree with humility, and the understanding that freedom of speech is a right, but also one that carries great responsibility. I know many of you do not like the man Donald Trump, and I can understand. You don’t agree with many of his policies, again I understand, but you need to give him a chance to actually govern, so you can have real issues to debate. I want to talk about 1 quickly. Saying ‘America First’ is not xenophobic in and of itself. He has said other things that can be debated. However, our government’s first priority has, is, and should always be to improve life here in the United States and the safety of its citizens. That’s not saying we will not help other countries or not accept immigrants. It simply means we need more focus on our country at home; I don’t how you can try and argue that.

With that, when you do discuss policies you do not agree with do not spread complete lies to help your point, it will only hurt it. Debate the issues, explain your side, and use facts to get your point across. I know what you’re thinking, why should we? Because we cannot succumb to tactics used by others of the past. We must raise the bar of the debate and conversation and take the high road. Eventually the hard work will show. In closing for now, let’s work to reach out to moderates and conservatives to find common ground. Most of your fellow democrats are nowhere near as liberal as the 10% of the party try to push the party platform. Let’s work to take our party back, and work with the right to find common sense compromises and solutions.

Now Republicans, you are probably smiling and maybe even agreeing with me, wanting me to come over to the Elephants. I have thought about that more than you realize, but now is when you are probably going to be offended. Where to start? Let’s go with calling any Democrat a “Libtard” or every millennial a “snowflake.” I have never met a single person who needed a “safe space.” I think the media wants to help perpetuate the myth there is a large number of those people to help keep a division not just between political parties, but generations as well. Reach out and talk to the individuals, and you may find out millennials and democrats are nowhere near who you thought they were. Most people if you were to talk to me especially about my personal beliefs would think I’m a Republican and I’m not. Many Democrats share your values and beliefs trust me.

Here is where we start to differ, although I share your typically “Christian” beliefs personally, we cannot force or legislate our religion on anyone else. Before you try to come back with we were founded as a “Christian Nation” and should justly legislate that way. Let me ask you a few questions. Why did most people come here to the “New World?” The answer is to escape religious persecution whether it was the Catholic Church or the Church of England, or whatever it was to worship without fear of reprisal from the government. In those documents you claim to know so well and live by, the Declaration of Independence and the US Constitution, our Founding Fathers could have declared a National Religion. You know what they didn’t do? Ever ask yourself why? I have some theories, some claim many were Deists. If you are unfamiliar with Deism it means they believed in God, but thought He was hands off for pretty much everything. Meaning they should let the law of the land dictate how we should govern. In addition let’s say most had some forbearing of our modern denominations. Which would be the official religion? I’ve seen Christians who ultimately agree for most of their religion but would nearly come to blows over small differences in interpretations. Furthermore, I see so many of you rightfully support the Nation of Israel and ‘God’s Chosen People’ the people of the Jewish faith. Would you support them practicing their religion and faith in your “Christian” nation? It’s a valid question, because although there are similarities and even agreements between the 2 faiths, they are clearly not one in the same. Next faith based question, how do you think theocracies have worked throughout history? Theocracy is a nation that is ruled by a national religion, for those of you unfamiliar. It helped bring an end to the British Empire, the Roman Empire, and how do you feel about living in Saudi Arabia, Iran, or Afghanistan before the American invasion?

Moving on, let’s talk about your often utter disregard for the truth. If during President Obama’s 8 years you bought into stories from infowars or Breibart news you honestly need to reevaluate where you get your information. I will even let you all keep Fox News, but please understand there is plenty of videos where even Fox offered completely false information to make you believe President Obama wasn’t an American citizen or a Muslim of which he is neither. Very few people will go to a Christian church for over 20 years to disguise they are Muslim, think about that. If he was so dedicated to the Islamic faith do you think he could stand to go to a Christian church that long? Could you as a Christian sit through 1 Islamic service at a Mosque? If your answer is no, then why do you think he did, and for that long?

If you shared ‘stories’ that talked about ‘false flags’ again use some common logic. It baffles me that you will almost come to blows to anyone who says 9/11 was a conspiracy, but the murder of over 20 innocent children by a psychopath in Newton, Connecticut was some mass government conspiracy to take your guns. What kind of logic is that? Here’s the thing, I’m with you, I’ve nearly come to blows with family members who try to say crazy theories about 9/11. At the same time I have nearly lost my mind at people who said over 20 children weren’t murdered in that town. Go tell their parents. No “crisis actors” were ever hired, those children were murdered, and to try to argue otherwise is completely evil and sick. Let’s keep talking, I saw people sharing ‘stories’ after the Boston Marathon bombing claiming some of the victims were the same as the Newton parents or Aurora, Colorado movie shooting. Are you even remotely sane to buy into that? People use your brains just a little. It could be disproven in about 1.2 seconds. Again why do you only believe conspiracies if they benefit or share your opinion? It is truly frightening the amount of intelligent people who believed these things. One more, what about that mass government plan to invade the south and set up FEMA camps, Jade Helm 15, remember? Yeah, it was a large training exercise for the military you claim to fully support.

If anyone truly listened to President Obama and his stance on guns; he did not want to take any guns people already had unless they were obtained illegally. However, he did want to restrict future purchases on certain type of guns. If you disagree with that, that is fine and your right, but he never had any intention on gun confiscation. You may also want to re-read the text of the 2nd amendment again. You are probably about to say, “the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” Here is the full text of the 2nd Amendment, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a Free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” Please explain to me the first phrase, “A well regulated militia.” When was the last time you went to muster in town square to demonstrate your knowledge and proficiency in the use of weapons? To me, again a supporter of your and my rights to bear arms, I believe there is a case that some restrictions can be placed on firearms. You may disagree and that is ok, but don’t always just quote that second half of the amendment look it as a whole. You may change your mind, or you may not, it’s just something to truly think about.

We are really just scratching the service, but we probably need to wrap up soon, so let’s move on. Let’s talk about the birther and Muslim movement again briefly. I will concede part of that was started by Hilary Clinton, however the Republicans and Fox News did not stop for 8 years, even many people still believe that to this day. Although many personalities will tell you now, they never believed that. See Glenn Beck, who was one of his biggest critics, said the right slant media went too far and should be ashamed for spreading lies. You can disagree with Obama’s policies that is fine, but you cannot deny that he was President. If you ever claimed he wasn’t American or was a Muslim and therefore wasn’t a legitimate president and ergo was “not your president” what right do you have to tell anti-Trumpers that Trump is their president and to get over it? Again think about that carefully. I am actually on your side remember, Trump is my president, even though I don’t agree with the man. You have to really think about this folks, you have brought a lot of this backlash on your own party and candidate who is now President. I have also seen so many say they were glad to hear God mentioned in Donald Trump’s speech. Great, did you ever listen to any of Obama’s? I’m guessing probably not, President Obama referenced God and scripture often. Let’s be fair and honest folks.

Let’s talk about POTUS Trump for a few moments. Folks the picture of the inauguration was proven to be taken at similar times and the crowd did appear to be smaller. You know what? I would expect it to be, Obama being sworn in was a major symbolic moment in our history, the first Black President. Here is my problem; I couldn’t care less who’s had a bigger crowd. The media again making a story out of nothing, but guess who cared President Trump. So much so he sent his Press Secretary out to address the media and flat out lie. In addition the next day while giving a speech in front of 157 stars that represent CIA operatives, who paid the ultimate sacrifice for our country, he rambled about it for no reason for nearly 2 minutes. Then Sunday he sent Kelly Conway a top aide on “Meet the Press” to talk about “alternative facts.” Stop just for a moment, and pretend Obama was still president and sent one of his aides to the media and started talking about “alternative facts” you would lose your mind and don’t tell me otherwise. It didn’t stop though, no sadly it didn’t. Monday while addressing a congressional delegation he made claims that literally no one can verify or even supports that due to “millions of illegal” votes and “vast voter fraud” that is the reason he lost the popular vote. Now Trump is going to waste taxpayer money for a complete investigation into voter fraud that occurred during the presidential election. Now wait, no one knows where he is getting this information, and so far no other politician or credible media source is reporting it. If he has something that can substantiate that claim, I get it. I don’t think he does though. I believe it is a complete vanity exercise to try and win the popular vote, and for no reason. POTUS Trump you won the Electoral College, and 32 states I believe, you are this country’s President. Who cares if you lost the popular vote, you are now President. Let’s do what president’s are supposed to do and start governing. You cannot worry about everyone liking you, nearly half the country isn’t going to like you anyway because you aren’t from their political party. Do your job, govern, and try to win them over with your policies, that you claim will help the American people.

Let me stop here to say, I hope President Trump is our most successful president of all time, and our country does nothing but flourish under his administration. Anyone who would wish otherwise is foolish, because they are only asking ill will on themselves and all they hold dear. Blindly supporting the president is not very American though, we are to voice our disagreements and concerns. Republican voiced their concerns the past 8 years if I’m not mistaken, so don’t expect Democrats to just “shut up” and deal with it. That is their right. Now with that said, I think protesting on Trump’s first full day in office is a little crazy and I in no way support the rioting; you have to realize though the rioters were a small fraction of people there, who were probably just looking for an excuse to act stupidly. Most of the protesters were peaceful, and although vulgar, often were not doing anything that was overly frowned upon.

I also want to talk about the ACA with you all for a moment or ‘Obamacare’ as you all often call it, and so did President Obama so it is what it is. The ACA did some amazingly wonderful acts. Allowed people with pre-existing conditions to get coverage, often for the first time; allowed Medicare to lower drug cost for Medicare beneficiaries by eliminating the Part D’s, or outpatient prescription drug benefit, coverage gap also known as the donut hole. Don’t know what that was/is I suggest reading up on it; it will probably blow your mind how they could do that originally. Now that isn’t saying the law is perfect, because it isn’t, but my point is there are great things it needs to keep in place. Maybe the Republican congress can get a better plan out there, I hope they do. We cannot repeal it without a replacement. For those of you saying insurance isn’t something Americans are entitled to, I agree and disagree. I do not believe insurance itself should be a promise but the ability to have healthcare and affordably I truly believe is. It even says so in the Declaration of Independence. “We hold these truths to be sacred & undeniable; that all men are created equal & independent, that from that equal creation they derive rights inherent & inalienable, among which are the preservation of life, & liberty, & the pursuit of happiness.” That was Thomas Jefferson’s original draft. This is what actually made it to the Declaration, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, and they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.” Read Jefferson’s original words, “the preservation of life.” How else can one preserve life if not through healthcare? Should someone have to live the rest of their life in poverty because they had cancer? Absolutely not, and I’m not saying it should be free. But folks it should be affordable. I think a public-option should be considered. We aren’t going to make you take the government’s insurance, but we will give you the option if you want it. We have the right to live; we have the right to liberty, and to pursue happiness.

In closing this is my message to Republicans. Win me over. I too value our Service men and women. My biggest regret is never serving in the armed forces, so I believe in strong military and supporting veterans. I believe in respecting the law and officers of the peace, but I am also aware they are people and make mistakes. I believe in fiscal responsibility and a need to balance the budget and reduce the national debt. I agree personally on almost all aspects of your social beliefs too. However, I do not think it is my place to force my ideas on anyone and it is definitely not the governments place to legislate it. Marriage is a religious institution, what the government recognizes is essentially a contract known a civil union in recognition of marriage. I don’t think you can deny 2 consenting adults that recognition. I do not think abortion is right, but I also don’t think you can flat outlaw it either. People know you can kill a fetus, and I would rather them go to a medical professional than some ‘doctor’ with a dirty knife or wire hangar endangering the mother’s life. Don’t buy into the late term abortion argument. 98 or 99% of abortions are performed before the 20th week. Again I am not advocating for abortion quite the opposite I’m just telling you why I have my beliefs. We should pray for those who make that decision, it is not our place to judge, that is between the individual and whoever their God is. Isn’t that really what the Republican party and Conservative movement is founded on, less government intrusion? Yet it seems many Republicans do not want the government out of things governments do, i.e. taxes, regulations on any business or industry, but does the want the government to dictate how people live their personal lives. That doesn’t add up folks.

In closing thank you for reading this extended piece. Sorry, if it seemed I was long winded at times, but this piece was more of a keeping my sanity by getting this off my chest exercise. I hope it at least makes you pause to reflect on our current state of affairs. I am not accusing the individual of anything I myself haven’t done, so please do not take this as a personal indictment. However, we as a nation and individuals need to understand what is happening, and find ways to work together. I’m from Kentucky and our state’s motto is “United we stand, divided we fall.” We will never all agree on everything, but we are in this world and in the country together. We have to work to find middle ground. Political polarization is killing our country and our love for one another. Let’s come together to work on common sense solutions and compromises. We have to have open dialogue and the ability to work together. If we don’t I am afraid that every 4 or 8 years we are going to just be undoing what the previous administration did, and never moving forward as a country. I encourage us all to discuss this, and feel free to leave your thoughts. Please be civil, and let’s talk to one another. May your God bless you, and May God forever bless the United States of America.


Sweet land of liberty; of thee I sing!

M. Coty Myers







Filed under Life/ Reflective, Politics, Uncategorized

We All Need Someone There

I started this piece back in September, and took a leave from writing. I am back now, and figured this piece was as good as any to start back with. It is is partially inspired by the Wonder Years, but mainly from a conversation with a dear friend. My hope is to bring you new  content at least once a week. I would very much appreciate your feedback and suggestions for new pieces or improvement. Thank you everyone and Happy New Year!


We All Need Someone There


When discussing with a friend recently about a tough time her significant other was experiencing she said something I found so basic yet profound at the same time.  Before we get there a little context first; Her and the aforementioned significant other had a 2 to 3 hour phone call, but she said there was only maybe 20 to 30 minutes of actual talking, it was mainly just silence. Back to her thought that hit me hard, it was, “I guess we all just need somebody to be there sometimes.” That put this idea in my head about a month ago. Then in the past week I was watching some videos of ‘The Wonder Years’ cast in recent years giving interviews. (Side note if you read me regularly you know my love of the Wonder Years, if not read some of my older stuff.) Most of the clips had the 3 main characters, Kevin, Winnie, and Paul (Fred Savage, Danica McKellar, Josh Saviano) discussing their experiences of life and the show. One in particular was a town hall type interview in an auditorium. The host posed the question, “you all three were going through similar life events and struggles growing up off screen, did you lean on each other for support?” Fred Savage (Kevin) answered first, “I mean we were friends, and I’m sure we discussed those things. I think more than anything we were just there for each other just because we were there, and that brought me a lot of comfort.”

That lays the concept of my thoughts for this piece. Even though it seems so basic, isn’t it still profoundly basic and true that ultimately sometimes we all just need someone there, to honestly just be there. Whether it’s providing advice, being a shoulder to cry on, or just listening to someone express their frustrations, we all need someone there sometimes. People often look back to their past and think they don’t have friends like they did when they were children. I think we fail to realize the obligations of adult life. For those of us who have those close friends you see and talk to nearly every day, you need to realize the gift you have. For most of us I feel we don’t have that in our adult lives. It’s not a bad thing though, and it doesn’t mean we don’t have those close friends either. The realities of adulthood between full-time jobs, families, and other commitments limits the time we have to share with our friends. Because of these realities, I believe that is why so many become such great friends and close to co-workers, they are simply just there every day.

Getting back to the point of looking back to our youth as a measuring stick of our friendships, at these young ages we are thrown in with countless others, and we grow together. In school we are just simply there every day. That is why so often we look back and think we never have friends like the ones we had in our youth. However, if we pause for a minute and really take stock of our current friendships it isn’t about daily interaction, but the quality of the time we have with the ones closest to us. We all have those friends we don’t see for four or five years and for the couple of hours or days we do spend with them, it’s like no time has passed. That is how friendship works in our adult lives. Beyond that we still communicate with our friends whether it is daily or not, we know they are there for us when we need them.

I know I have friends that I haven’t seen in ages, but if I pick up a phone or send them a message they will be there ready to listen my problems. Sometimes that is all we need, just someone there. I know many of you out there, can probably handle your issues all your own, but for everyone there comes a point when we just need someone else. I hope to everyone who reads this, you have that person or people who you know will be there when you need them.

Even the strongest of us will go through times that will test the very fiber of our beings, and those times are made easier if we have someone who is there to share the load with us. Whether it is a spouse, sibling, friend, or whoever it may be it helps to have someone just be there for us. For those of you who think you can handle anything on your own, I envy you, and I used to consider myself in the same light. It is true each person goes through their own struggles; it isn’t ours to judge who has it worse. Obviously those who are dealing with extreme sickness or injury will probably feel they have a worse situation than someone who has lost a job, but that is the concept of what I am talking about. No one wants to face either issue alone, and no one should face these obstacles alone. From time to time we all need someone there, just so we know they are.

I’ll conclude with this, it doesn’t make any of us less of person to want to have someone there for us. We all need someone there from time to time even if it is only to hear us voice our frustration and pain. We shouldn’t fear that we are burdening someone with our problems, because we are all in this life together. Be there for someone people, you never know when just listening or the simplest of help may make a world of difference to someone who really needs it. You also never know, when you may need someone to be there for you. In the end I think we all want the best for everyone, and we can help each other achieve that. Let’s start helping and being there for each other, after all I think we all long to ultimately just have someone there or to share it with. What does it matter if we gain all the successes we can if we have no one to share it with? That my friends is what life is about human interaction, the experiences, the people, the emotions, not the material. I hope you all have someone to be there.


With Love

Coty Myers


The 3 main Wonder Years characters then and now.

The 3 main Wonder Years characters then and now.

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Filed under Life/ Reflective, Uncategorized

Perfectly Imperfect

real perfect

Perfectly Imperfect

What is perfect? Webster defines perfect in similar ways. 1) Having no mistakes or flaws. 2) Completely correct or accurate. or 3) Having all the qualities you want in a person, situation, etc. It is safe to say most would consider definition #1 as the most commonly thought of definition for perfect. Flawless is what I most commonly associate with perfect. When dealing with human relationships do we truly believe there will be no mistakes or that everything will be perfect? The short answer is a simple no.

Let us then take a look at the third definition: “having all the qualities you want in a person, situation, etc.” This is the basis for our “perfect” friend, significant other, co-worker, any person we interact with. Don’t let the label of perfect throw you off or make you try to live up to being flawless. We are all human, and we can only live our lives the best way we know how. That brings the real question, is anyone perfect? Think most rational people will tell you no, and I am in agreement that no individual person is perfect. Continuing that train of thought, that would in turn mean our relationships whether they be professional, platonic, or romantic will also not be perfect.

However, we often hear people say, “oh but he is perfect for you,” “she is perfect,” or “you are absolutely perfect.” Does this mean these people who say things like this have lost their common sense? No it doesn’t. When we tell someone they are perfect we are not implying the person is without flaw, it simply means that we decided we believe our friend, fiancé, spouse, whoever is everything we are looking for in that relationship even with their imperfections.

I think too often someone is told they are perfect by another and they then freeze up. The “perfect person” then manifests in their thoughts they will never live up to this expectation. Beyond that they also try to distance themselves from the person who thinks of them as perfect. If you are guilty of this, some advice, don’t run. The person who thinks you’re perfect for just who you are. You may hate the way you pronounce a word, but your person may find that one of your most endearing qualities. Maybe they know you always run late and just make it part of who you are and come to love that quirk about you. The things you may hate most about yourself the person who thinks you are perfect may love the most.

My next question for you my friends; is it fair to hold someone up to a higher standard or expectation because you think they are “perfect.” That answer isn’t so obvious. Like too many things in life it isn’t so black and white, but shades of gray. People will always let us down even those closest to us. However, nothing brings us more joy than those very same people. I have been guilty of ‘expecting’ too much of others in the past. At the same time all I truly ask for is honesty. When people try to avoid a situation or push something down the road, I cannot accept that. There is a precarious balance we must manage. We want those closest to us to be the best versions of themselves, but we can’t expect them to supply our entire world and happiness. As long as both people are communicating and supporting each other there isn’t much more we ask for. Yet we long for more, and expect someone else to be perfect and make up for our own imperfections. This is not fair, not at all.

If we are looking for someone who is “perfect”, we need to understand what that actually means in context of human relationships. Someone who is perfect for us, does not mean they our without fault, but rather they complete us. Together between the two people the imperfections each has balances out, and we find our perfect compliment. Maybe you are too structured and feel like you miss out on life, your perfect person may be one who completely blows off structure and gets you to be spontaneous. Between the two of you get to experience life, and they become a little more responsible making for a perfect balance. Maybe you in fact don’t even change each other, but just offer great compliments to each other, the thing about being perfect for someone, is that much like beauty it is in the eye of the beholder.

Like anything in life that we want or need, interpersonal relationships require effort and work. Nothing in life is going to be perfect, but it takes two people working toward a common goal to make a perfect relationship. It doesn’t even have to be a romantic one, it could be a perfect relationship between father and son, or co-workers, or friends. It won’t be easy, but remember there is a reason we want those people around, especially when we know they are perfect for us. We are entitled to make mistakes, but it is also our responsibility to learn and grow from those same mistakes. We will never be perfect, but we can work to be the best versions of ourselves. It is a constant work, learning and self-improving every day.

That also brings full circle to this concept of perfect. At the end of the day, someone out there is ready to embrace you for exactly who you are. It doesn’t mean you are a flawless person, but for that person or persons you are perfect exactly how you are. Embrace who you are, work every day to become improve and become a better person. If you don’t have your perfect person yet, they are out there just waiting for you. So continue being you; laugh that annoying life, smile at the most inappropriate times, be the grammar police, someone is looking for you just as you are. The thing we need to realize is we are exactly who we are meant to be. We may change through different events and times in our lives, but for better or worse this is who we are. Just because you feel you have given your all to others in the past, don’t let that hold your future back, be you with everything you have. It is the loss of those who couldn’t accept you as you are and you’re your fault. Let go and be your perfect you.

And I realize even for myself that I am perfectly imperfect just as I am, as we all should.


Dare to be perfect my friends,

M. Coty Myers



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…To Fail and a Reintroduction

“…To Fail and a reintroduction”

To fail conjures thoughts and emotions that would usually be negative. Even I cannot argue that point. What if I told you there are times when not failing is even worse than actually failing? You would probably ask me how that was possible or flatly not believe me. Let me explain this phenomenon by first focusing on the title of this, just the beginning. To fail, is only half a thought, the full thought is “too afraid to fail.”

Let’s take a moment to really think about that. Too afraid to fail.. Have you ever been so afraid to try anything that you didn’t even attempt to make it happen or give any real effort at all? If we do a pro-con analysis there would actually be a few pros for this. You never actually fail at anything and therefore never experience the disappointment and pain that failure brings. However, there are quite a few more cons than those 2 pros.

First you would never challenge yourself to see what you’re made of and what are truly capable of. Next even though you would never fail, would you ever really succeed at anything? By not doing or attempting anything you would achieve anything then where you are currently are. A few of you may be ok with this, but for the majority of us there are still milestones we want to achieve or new goals to meet.

Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100 % of the shots don’t take.” That quote actually measures my opinion of not giving an effort very closely. We can continue with more cons. You would probably never have any self-improvement or change. You would probably never learn anything new both of yourself or general knowledge.

Some of the biggest lessons learned by the most successful of us have risen from the ashes of our failures. Michael Jordan was cut from his varsity basketball team his freshman year, a widely known story of the GOAT. Many authors were near broke or broke before their big breaks. There are countless stories of those that took years to achieve success and had to endure endless failures to finally find the sweet taste of success.

Our final con let me begin with a question for you. Can you truly enjoy the feelings and emotions of success if you never failed? If you have never experienced any hardship, sadness, failure, etc, I wish I were you. In all seriousness maybe you could experience the pure satisfaction of success, but I believe to truly appreciate and feel success you need to experience failure. Knowing what it is like at the bottom helps you realize just how hard it is to succeed and allows us to understand just how important it is for us to succeed.

Which brings us full circle to being too afraid to fail, after that analysis are you still going to play it safe on the sidelines or check into this game of life and go for broke? Am I telling you that you are going to succeed the first time or often even if you give it your all? Absolutely not. In reality you will probably fail more often then you will succeed. Then why even try? If no one tries there will be nothing. No new babies, no medical breakthroughs, no new music; nothing only what we have already, and that sounds like a terrible world to live in.

You see my friends as bad as failing is; there is a beautiful aspect to failing. Failing especially when you give your all, your whole heart will feel like death. But you know what? You didn’t die, you gave it all up only for it to not be enough, and you’re still rising. No I’m not even saying standing, sometimes it will knock you fully down, you may have to climb to even get back to your knees, and then work your way back up to stand and face the world again. Don’t forget though, you took it; you took the world’s best shot and got back up. Failing shows us exactly what we are made and just how resilient are bodies and souls can be. Failing allows us to become stronger and brace for the next fight. Eventually through all the bumps and bruises we will breakthrough and find our success.

I won’t lie to you it won’t be easy, and I am just as guilty as anyone, if not the most guilty of all. I have been too afraid to try in relationships, my professional life, friendships, hobbies, writing; name it I have been far too afraid to even try, or if I did “give an effort” it was in word only or I intentionally sabotaged myself. Whether it is waiting too long to tell someone how I feel or using my pursuit of perfection to hinder my writing, I have been the worst at not living life to its fullest. I am trying to fix this with myself, and I encourage all of you reading this to do the same. The first way to break out of my isolation and box I have put myself in, is by starting to write again. This piece is only 1 day short of a full year since my last post. I am going to do my best to produce more pieces and on a regular basis, I want you all to hold me accountable, and make me deliver.

That brings us to the second half of the title of this piece, “and a reintroduction.” In the famous words of Shawn Carter aka Jay-Z, “Allow me to re-introduce myself.” For those of you unfamiliar with me, I am Coty Myers, an aspiring writer. I have failed at even writing this post since it came to me two weeks ago. But in that failure I found the inspiration to begin again. I have several pieces that have been stuck in my head for nearly a year, and I intend to write them now. They won’t be perfect, they may even be downright awful, but that is thing about writing, you just have to write. I also have started work on my first book, “Confession of a Dying Twenty-Something.”

Progress on the book is slow, but I am hoping reviving this blog will allow my creativeness to begin flowing again. I ask you to please continue to support me, and pressure me to continue to produce pieces you enjoy reading, so feel free to provide me with subjects you’d like to see me write about. Enough self promoting, and back to this topic to wrap us up for now.

I am going to fail daily, but I am going to do my best to dust myself off and try again, in whatever it may be. I implore you to do the same. Failure is just a part of success, and we all need to give effort every day. I will leave you with someone who saw the deepest failures, but even higher success, Steve Jobs.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”


Never be too afraid to try,

M. Coty Myers


A quote about failure from the GOAT, Michael Jordan.

A quote about failure from the GOAT, Michael Jordan.

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