I started this piece back in September, and took a leave from writing. I am back now, and figured this piece was as good as any to start back with. It is is partially inspired by the Wonder Years, but mainly from a conversation with a dear friend. My hope is to bring you new content at least once a week. I would very much appreciate your feedback and suggestions for new pieces or improvement. Thank you everyone and Happy New Year!
We All Need Someone There
When discussing with a friend recently about a tough time her significant other was experiencing she said something I found so basic yet profound at the same time. Before we get there a little context first; Her and the aforementioned significant other had a 2 to 3 hour phone call, but she said there was only maybe 20 to 30 minutes of actual talking, it was mainly just silence. Back to her thought that hit me hard, it was, “I guess we all just need somebody to be there sometimes.” That put this idea in my head about a month ago. Then in the past week I was watching some videos of ‘The Wonder Years’ cast in recent years giving interviews. (Side note if you read me regularly you know my love of the Wonder Years, if not read some of my older stuff.) Most of the clips had the 3 main characters, Kevin, Winnie, and Paul (Fred Savage, Danica McKellar, Josh Saviano) discussing their experiences of life and the show. One in particular was a town hall type interview in an auditorium. The host posed the question, “you all three were going through similar life events and struggles growing up off screen, did you lean on each other for support?” Fred Savage (Kevin) answered first, “I mean we were friends, and I’m sure we discussed those things. I think more than anything we were just there for each other just because we were there, and that brought me a lot of comfort.”
That lays the concept of my thoughts for this piece. Even though it seems so basic, isn’t it still profoundly basic and true that ultimately sometimes we all just need someone there, to honestly just be there. Whether it’s providing advice, being a shoulder to cry on, or just listening to someone express their frustrations, we all need someone there sometimes. People often look back to their past and think they don’t have friends like they did when they were children. I think we fail to realize the obligations of adult life. For those of us who have those close friends you see and talk to nearly every day, you need to realize the gift you have. For most of us I feel we don’t have that in our adult lives. It’s not a bad thing though, and it doesn’t mean we don’t have those close friends either. The realities of adulthood between full-time jobs, families, and other commitments limits the time we have to share with our friends. Because of these realities, I believe that is why so many become such great friends and close to co-workers, they are simply just there every day.
Getting back to the point of looking back to our youth as a measuring stick of our friendships, at these young ages we are thrown in with countless others, and we grow together. In school we are just simply there every day. That is why so often we look back and think we never have friends like the ones we had in our youth. However, if we pause for a minute and really take stock of our current friendships it isn’t about daily interaction, but the quality of the time we have with the ones closest to us. We all have those friends we don’t see for four or five years and for the couple of hours or days we do spend with them, it’s like no time has passed. That is how friendship works in our adult lives. Beyond that we still communicate with our friends whether it is daily or not, we know they are there for us when we need them.
I know I have friends that I haven’t seen in ages, but if I pick up a phone or send them a message they will be there ready to listen my problems. Sometimes that is all we need, just someone there. I know many of you out there, can probably handle your issues all your own, but for everyone there comes a point when we just need someone else. I hope to everyone who reads this, you have that person or people who you know will be there when you need them.
Even the strongest of us will go through times that will test the very fiber of our beings, and those times are made easier if we have someone who is there to share the load with us. Whether it is a spouse, sibling, friend, or whoever it may be it helps to have someone just be there for us. For those of you who think you can handle anything on your own, I envy you, and I used to consider myself in the same light. It is true each person goes through their own struggles; it isn’t ours to judge who has it worse. Obviously those who are dealing with extreme sickness or injury will probably feel they have a worse situation than someone who has lost a job, but that is the concept of what I am talking about. No one wants to face either issue alone, and no one should face these obstacles alone. From time to time we all need someone there, just so we know they are.
I’ll conclude with this, it doesn’t make any of us less of person to want to have someone there for us. We all need someone there from time to time even if it is only to hear us voice our frustration and pain. We shouldn’t fear that we are burdening someone with our problems, because we are all in this life together. Be there for someone people, you never know when just listening or the simplest of help may make a world of difference to someone who really needs it. You also never know, when you may need someone to be there for you. In the end I think we all want the best for everyone, and we can help each other achieve that. Let’s start helping and being there for each other, after all I think we all long to ultimately just have someone there or to share it with. What does it matter if we gain all the successes we can if we have no one to share it with? That my friends is what life is about human interaction, the experiences, the people, the emotions, not the material. I hope you all have someone to be there.